


i burn hot for you baby (my oven is on fuego)

by moimoi_chan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bake Sale, Genderbending, Getting a Date, Kozume Kenma is So Done, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Tease, M/M, Mutual Pining, Prom, Scoring, no beta we die like quaretenied women with shopaholic problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27128045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moimoi_chan/pseuds/moimoi_chan
Summary: "So..how many?" Kuro asks, gesturing to a bag and then back to the lemon squares.Bokuto panics. Says the first thing that comes to her mind. Again. She should really watch out for that thing. "All of them"Kuro laughs. Her laugh is cute (even though it sounds more like a cackle). "All of them?"No going back now. "All of them"ORGenderbend BoKuroo Bake Sale AU (Kuroo is on the prom committee raising money for the prom and Bokuto is just one hungry varsity volleyball athlete with a lot of money to spend)
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Kozume Kenma, Bokuto Koutarou & Konoha Akinori, Bokuto Koutarou & Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	i burn hot for you baby (my oven is on fuego)

**Author's Note:**

> I know its not smut but here me out....genderbend bokuroo ft. kuroos terrible flirting

_start_

-

"Bokuto!" Bokuto turned her head and waved at her friend Konoha, who was jogging up to her at a surprisingly fast rate, considering how winded she complained to be after practices. 

"Hey, what's up Konoha?" She asked, tugging a lock of her silvery hair behind her ear. 

"The committee just hung up some banners for the prom, wanna come see? It's like a cloud nine type of thing" _What's a cloud nine?_ Bokuto didn't really even have the chance to say no because Konoha was already dragging her by the arm toward a big cluster of students.

Bokuto very nicely (read: not so nicely) pushed her way up to the front, the sooner she saw the stupid poster the sooner she could go to practice right? Konoha, however, seemed pretty entranced. As did a lot of the other students staring at the poster. And they called _her_ simple-minded. 

"Shit, tickets are literally fifty bucks" Konoha was known to have empty pockets, because she spent her money on useless things she never really used. Like, last practice, she brought several gray and yellow detangling brushes. _"In case, you know, our hair gets tangled or something!_ " She had said. Konoha ended up losing the brushes in a week. 

"That's a bad thing right?" Bokuto asked, and then perked up. She leaned on Konoha, who struggled to hold her up. "If it's bad, then oh _no_ , guess we can't go!" 

"Says the one who is literally filthy rich-"

"Okay, practice time now!" Bokuto grinned, as she dragged her friend back to the gymnasium. Konoha admittedly did try to protest, but very weakly, which is no match for Bokutos love for volleyball and her hatred for dances. 

\- 

Oh, God. If one more person asked her to the prom she was positively going to shoot herself. How many times did she have to tell people?! She's not interested in going to the dance with anyone because _she wasn't going_. She had the big volleyball game coming up, and Nationals to shoot for. Plus her cross spikes could use a little work and-

"You look pissed" The voice was low and monotonous, and it wasn't a question. More like a statement. Bokuto stopped ranting anyway and stared at the short girl behind a stand that said _Bake Sale_. The girl looked like she wanted to be anywhere other than where she was right now and Bokuto could honestly relate. "Just buy something so Kuro will let me go home". 

Wow. Honestly respect. Whoever was in charge wasn't paying this girl enough. 

"Wow," Bokuto said, sticking her hand in her jogger pockets. 

The girl's friend, who's name was probably Kuro, who was also probably forcing the poor girl to sell baked goods turned around and promptly smacked her friends arm. " _Kennnmmmmaaaa~!_ What have I told you about being nice to potential customers?" 

Kenma sighed, long and hard. "Why do I have to do-"

Kuro narrowed her eyes and playfully poked her on the cheek. "What was that, dear kitten? Ask Akaashi Keiji if she's free for the dance?" Kenma looked seconds away from committing murder. Bokuto wisely chooses not to tell them that Akaashi Keiji is indeed free for the dance. 

"Fine. You said to 'look nice and friendly even if it killed me'" Bokuto stifled a laugh at this, and poorly covered it up with a cough. Kuro grinned and patted her friend on the back. Her hazel eyes shifted to Bokuto, who in turn straightened up. 

"On second thought," Kuro mumbled "Let me take this one" 

Kenma rolled her eyes, but stepped back anyway. Was this a good time to mention that Bokuto wasn't going to actually buy anything? She was just passing by and-

"What can I get you gorgeous?" Kuro leaned down on the makeshift counter, which was a feat in itself because Kuro was almost as tall as Bokuto herself. And the counter was fit for someone around Kenmas size. 

It was now or never. Just, tell her you aren't actually buying anything and get over the mortifying embarrassment. "I'm not-"

"She won't give up. She's desperate to get the most sales. Just _please buy-"_

 _"Shut up Kenma!_ " Kuro said in a sing-song voice, putting a hand over her mouth. She turned back to Bokuto and smiled again. "So..what'll it be?"

Bokutos mouth said the first thing her eyes landed on. "Lemon squares" 

Kuro made a face. Bokuto didn't really blame her. Lemon squares were far from her favorite. 

"So..how many?" Kuro asks, gesturing to a bag and then back to the lemon squares. Bokuto panics. Says the first thing that comes to her mind. Again. "All of them". Kenma looks up from her phone in surprise and then shrugs her shoulders. 

Kuro laughs. Her laugh is cute (even though it sounds more like a cackle) "All of them?" 

No going back now. "All of them". Kuro bags up her money, and hands over the sweets. It sorta reminds her of a risky drug deal. She, thank goodness, doesn't laugh out loud about this. Bokuto walks away fifty dollars cheaper and with a tray of lemon squares. Out of curiosity, she takes a bite. 

-

Its actually really good

-

Bokuto passes out the rest of her lemon squares during school the next day. Many of her classmates are happy for the free food, and she's grateful to people like Nishinoya Yuu and Tanaka Ryounuskke. Those two practically clean her out. By the time she gets to volleyball practice, she only has ten left. 

Konoha takes one, although her face looks suspicious. "I thought you didn't care about prom" She states, staring her down. Akasshi walks up from the side and takes two with a small napkin. Even though Akasshi also had four this morning. 

"Who said these were from the bake sale huh?" Bokuto said defensively, staring very hard at a prom banner behind Konoha.

"You did Bokuto," Akaashi told her, and grabbed another lemon square. Seriously, what's with Akaashi and the lemon squares?!

Wait. Bokuto groaned and hung her head. Shit. She did, didn't she?

"Fine, you caught me," Bokuto said sadly. "The cute seller person distracted me and I ended up buying all the lemon squares she had left" 

" _Cute seller person-?_ Don't you mean _vender_? Oh my god-" Akaashi mutters darkly at the same time Konoha says "Of course you did. Gay ass". 

Bokuto doesn't know how to feel about either one of those statements. 

Akaashi and Konoha both continue to slander Bokuto's good name for a few more minutes. She does a very good job of waiting it out. Konoha suddenly kicks Bokuto in the shin, and Bokuto does a very good job of pretending that it doesn't hurt. It's just the way Konoha shows her affection. "Wait. How did she ' _distract you_ '?" 

"She's really really pretty" Bokuto doesn't even try to hide the dreaminess in her voice. Akaashi mumbles a soft, _oh god,_ and does something that looks similar to a facepalm but with a lot more pain and suffering. Bokuto wisely chooses not to answer. 

"You gonna buy anything else from her?" Konoha asks slyly, knocking their elbows together. 

Bokuto grins. " _Hell yeah!_ I'm gonna buy everything from her! She said she wants to have the most sales and even if I'm not really going to prom-"

Akaashi suddenly decides to return to planet earth. Her face scrunches up, and somewhere in the distant universe, another person is turned into an Akaashi simp. "Not going to prom? You? I'm-"

"Spit it out," Konoha says playfully, rolling her eyes. Akashi pretends not to hear her and continues gaping out _I-_ 's and _I'm_ -s and just generally not making a lot of sense. Which is weird. Bokuto is usually the one not making sense. 

"Yeah, I'm not going to prom" Bokuto tactfully says, which, thankfully, doesn't send Akasshi on another round of _I_ -s and _I''m_ -s. "I've got Nationals to prepare for y'know, and if I plan on going pro I can't be slacking thinking about some dance" 

Konoha opens her mouth and then closes it again. Smart girl. 

"Nationals is still a while aways" Akaashi mutters, picking a volleyball up in her hands. Bokuto thinks Akaashi has pretty hands. Well, actually, _all_ of Akaashi is pretty. Medium ink colored hair, which is curled slightly at the tips, and it frames her elegant chin (Bokuto didn't think it was possible to have an elegant chin before she met Akaashi but here she is-) nicely. Not to mention she's just the right height for cuddling. 

"Yeah, I know," Bokuto tells her, patting her shoulder enthusiastically. Akashi doesn't look very enthusiastic about it though. "But I know we'll win this year"

-

"Oho-ho?" Kuro says in greeting. Most of the sweets are gone (Kuro must be good at her job) but there's still a lot. "Back again are we?" 

Bokuto blushes and nods. She rocks back and forth on the balls of her worn tennis shoes. "Sure am!" 

Kenma looks up from her phone and when she sees Bokuto, offers a soft nod. Bokutos glad that Kenma looks...not unhappy to see her. If Kuros very close friend, hopefully not girlfriend, likes her, it must mean Kuro does too?

"Cute" Kuro says before yawning and stretching out her limbs like a cat. "What can I get for you today sweetheart?" 

Bokuto thinks very long and hard about this. Not about the way her grin softens when she calls her _sweetheart_ nor about the fact that _K_ _uro called her sweetheart!_ "Um...your sugar cookies look good"

"I can be your sugar cookie- _ow_! Kenma that hurt!" Bokuto blushes at the innuendo and thankfully Kenma and Kuro are too busy arguing to pay attention to her. 

"You're absolutely disgusting," Kenma says voice void of absolutely any emotion. Bokuto thinks that's why Kenma is so funny to her. "You're going to scare Bokuto off and she'll never come back and then I'll have to suffer every day because you won't stop-"

"Okayokay _okay!_ Got it, no flirting and or teasing Bokuto" Kuro said solemnly, raising her hand to her head in a manner of a salute. 

"I actually didn't mind" Bokuto blurts out before her mind can tell her otherwise. Kuro perks up at this, and Kenma groans. Bokuto blushes again and waves her hand in front of her face. She's quick to amend her words so that she sounds less...simp-y. Even if that is what she is. A Kuro simp through and through. "I mean, it's not like you actually meant anything by it right?"

Kuro stares at her. 

Kenma stares at her. 

Bokuto stares at the sign that says _Bake Sale!_

"Are you dumb?" Kenma asks after some time. Kuro chokes on her breath and mutters a small _Kenma!_. Bokutos' been called dumb plenty of times and even though it actually hurts, she likes to pretend that it doesn't bother her. 

It bothers her very much. Bokuto purses her lips. Tries not to let it get to her. She's the _ace_ for god's sake. Being called dumb by someone the size of an Adventure Time gremlin _should not_ hurt her feelings. Her fists clench at her sides and she thinks she's doing an excellent job of not crying. "I'll take all of them". 

Kuro makes a face. "Huh? Bokuto are you-"

"All the sugar cookies" Bokuto repeats, digging in her pocket for a fifty.

The two girls share a look. Kenma doesn't say anything but takes the bill from her in silence. Bokuto kinda uses more force than needed to take the bag from the tinier girl, but she's just a little upset, and she doesn't mean it and _why is she so sensitive_? Bokuto wants to crawl under a rock and die. 

She's being such a baby right now. 

"Come again okay Bokuto?" Kuro says, smile soft and gentle. 

Bokuto finds herself nodding thickly. "Okay Kuro"

"Kuroo" She corrects with a giggle and Bokuto blushes in embarrassment. 

"Oh. Right..um bye-bye Kuroo" Bokuto waves awkwardly, and then trips over her foot walking away. God, she's such a disaster. 

\- 

Kenma corners her in the morning. Literally _corners her_. How is such a tiny person so scary?! 

"Sorry for calling you dumb yesterday" Kenma apologizes, medium hair covering her eyes. Her voice is low and drones out, but Bokuto can tell that she really means it. Kenma strikes Bokuto as the type of person wouldn't do or say anything she wouldn't want to do or say. 

Bokuto grins. "It's no big deal really!" 

Kenma stares at her. "I hurt your feelings, I can tell"

"Nooooo...well kinda? I mean yeah, a little. But! We're all good now!" Bokuto throws an arm around her shoulder and grins again. Kenma...doesn't look very happy about the sudden affection but bears with it all the same. She reminds her of Akaashi in a way. Bokuto likes that about her. 

"Well good. It'd be bad for Kuro if you'd stop coming" Kenma tells her honestly. "She really likes you".

Bokuto blushes. Well, that certainly isn't news someone hears every day. Bokuto grins with enthusiasm and pumps her fist in the air. "I'll be her number one customer! And then she can beat that Daishou girl!"

Kenma chuckles and removes herself from Bokutos' hold. "You already are" 

-

 _how to ask someone to prom_ Bokuto types into the google search bar, because everyone knows to trust google with pressing matters like these. 

"Thought you weren't going to prom?" Akaashi asks, leaning over Bokutos shoulder. Bokuto jumps like a foot in the air, and covers her laptop screen with her hands, even though its futile. Akaashi already saw. 

"I'm not! This is...just in case" Bokuto mumbles pathetically. She's the worst liar in existence, especially when it's to Akaashi. Her best friend since childhood is probably enjoying tormenting Bokuto like this. 

"I'm pretty sure Kuroo would say yes," Akaashi tells her, patting her shoulder, and, _how did she know?_ Actually, Akaashi knows everything, so this shouldn't really be a surprise. "No matter how you ask her"

Bokutos face catches on fire. "W-well...what about you?!"

Akaashi stares at her. "What about me?"

"Who are you taking? I bet a bunch of people asked you!" 

Its Akaashis turn to blush now. Bokuto admires the way the tables have turned. Akaashi pushes her fingers together and smiles dopily at the floor. And, okay, Bokutos actually kinda scared now. "She hasn't asked me yet, but I hope she does soon. Although she probably won't, she seems like the antisocial type"

_"What was that, dear kitten? Ask Akaashi Keiji if she's free for the dance?"_

"You mean Kenma?" Bokuto states with a deadpan stare. 

Akaashi rolls her eyes fondly. "Yeah, I don't think the cafeteria ladies heard you"

Bokuto shrugs her shoulders. "I mean, I can say it louder if you want-"

"Once!" Akaashi places a finger to her lips. "Once is enough". Bokuto grins and flashes her a thumbs up. 

"Dude, don't worry! Kenma is _so_ into you" Akaashi blushes again, and plays with the material on her cardigan. "But if I were you, I'd go ahead and ask her y' know?"

Akaashi most certainly does not know, but she nods and pretends she does anyway. "Right. Thanks, Bokuto"

Bokuto grins and flashes her a smile. "You're welcome!" 

-

"These are for you Kuroo!" Bokuto shouts, thrusting a batch of cookies into Kuroos face. She worked very hard on them last night (read: she brunt the first two batches and caused a small fire so Akaashi took over and left her with decorating duty. Which is equally important!) Kuroo looks surprised but takes the box with a smirk. 

"Gonna put these here," Kuroo says, sliding the box under the table and then taps Bokutos arm. "Don't need you running me out of business babes"

"Oh my god die you disgusting human being" Kenma comments, sliding up to the table with a half giddy smile on her face. 

"It'd be better if you looked at them now," Bokuto suggests, rocking back and forth on her heels nervously. "I wasn't smart enough to put my phone number on them, and I kinda need your answer now...."

Kuroo stops shoving and pushing Kenmas side. She takes the box back out, opens the lid. Bokuto watches with rapt attention as emotions shift across Kuroos face. "Oho-ho?" She says finally, looking up at Bokuto with a happy grin. Bokuto wants to take this as a good sigh. "I do believe this gorgeous girl here is asking me to prom kitten-"

 _Oh_. Even better signs maybe?

"Oh my god just say yes already please I'm getting second-hand embarrassment" 

Bokuto laughs nervously. "Y-yeah...I worked really hard on those. Still aren't better than yours though" 

Kuroo bites into the cookie that says _Go to Prom_ on it with yellow icing. Licks her lips in a way that makes Bokuto want to lean over the counter and kiss her. "Mm. Yeah. You got a bit of a ways to go-"

Bokuto frowned. 

" _But_ it would be terrible if my number one customer suddenly beat the master" 

Bokuto grinned again. 

Kenma slammed her head on the table. 

"So does this mean its a yea?" Bokuto gingerly asked, and wiped her sweaty hands on the fabric of her jean shorts. 

Kuroo grinned, laughing at her antics. "It's a yes, see you at 6 tomorrow?"

Bokuto nodded and gave her Kuroo her phone. "Put yourself in and I'll text you?". Kuroo flashed her a genuine smile and grabbed her phone before putting her number in. 

"See you tomorrow!" Kuroo shouted as Bokuto walked away. Bokuto turned around and waved happily (read: shes so drunk on Kuroos charm that she trips over her foot turning around _again_ and falls on the heavy metal doors. She plays it off well enough she thinks, if Kenmas concerned thumbs up has anything to say about it). 

\- 

**_one new message!_ **

**_kuroo-babe:_ can't wait to cu tmmrw 😽😽**

_-_

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> ignore all the plotholes like your life depends on it please. also, in the first half of the story kuroos name is intentionally misspelled. because he only heard kenma calling him 'kuro'.
> 
> here are the prom dresses they'd wear imo, if any of you are interested: 
> 
> bokuto --> https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_embellished-illusion-multi-color-tulle-ball-gown-2011p1012_all-prom-dresses
> 
> kuroo --> https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/nookie-eleganza-organza-sleeve-bodycon-mini-dress?ID=3637208&CategoryID=1005206 
> 
> kenma --> https://www.bloomingdales.com/shop/product/aqua-feather-trim-mini-dress-100-exclusive?ID=3819228&CategoryID=1005206
> 
> akaashi --> https://camillelavie.com/off-the-shoulder-embroidered-organza-ballgown-41323-66563
> 
> konoha --> https://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_a-line-mesh-dress-with-beaded-beaded-bodice-wgin18806_formal-dresses 
> 
> i'm also a sucker for buying evening gowns like these, and i maybe might have bought bokutos and kuroos even though its a pandemic and i won't be going out anytime soon.


End file.
